Today, I’m starting a brand new feature! This feature will be to share what I have learned and grown in at the end of each month of this year. Since I journal regularly, I will just be going through my journal and reflecting on that month’s growth. I hope you enjoy it!
Letting go of Fears
What a month it has been. At the end of November, I began a new journey. It is a journey to becoming a work-at-home Mom. It isn’t an overnight, get-rich-quick journey, but it’s stepping into a plan of action for some of the dreams that I have had. The craziest thing about it? I didn’t realize how comfortable I was, how anxious, how fearful, how people pleasing until I tried to step out. I had a week (or more) of extreme, anxiety, sick to my stomach fear. I hid it well, even from myself. Have I gotten over all those fears? Nope, not at all. But I am realizing that it is about learning to push past the fears that hold us back.
Trusting in the Lord
I wrote about how this year my one word is “Trust.” It sounds so simple, but it’s oh so hard in my own strength. It means that I am willing to let go of my expectations to the end results of things that I do. It means that even if nothing works out for me this entire year, I still trust in the Lord. It means that I recognize that I have everything in need in Christ and that because of that, I don’t need to understand “why.”
Psalm 34:19, “The righteous face many troubles, but the Lord rescues them from each and every one.” I can’t begin to claim that I understand how and why that works. Sometimes, in my own human mind, I don’t think he really rescues me from each and every trouble. However, I know that he is faithful no matter what happens. When I really start thinking about that, I get pretty freaked out. I wonder, would I be able to rejoice and believe this scripture if I lost a close family member? That’s something that I don’t know that I can answer.
I highly value the opportunities I have had this month, to enjoy friends. I think it is something that is often placed by the wayside, due to busyness and the fact that we can be connected anywhere through Social Media and Texting. However, there is something so amazing about getting together in person, even if it’s just a comfortable visiting time at someone’s (or your own) kitchen table.
Peace and Quiet
The other night, my husband took the kids off to Gym Night. I stayed home and had a run and read a book. Last school year, I did it all the time and though I enjoy visiting with other parents, sometimes I just need some quiet to myself. So this year, we have been alternating. At times, I have used it as work time, but I find it much more valuable as an exercise/reading time.
Couple Date Day
Throughout our 13 years of marriage, Bernd and I have tried to always make/keep it a priority to do Monthly date days. It’s been hard, at times, but I really feel like it’s been worth it. In the midst of busyness, we have been kept strong. Yes, it takes a financial commitment and I realize that it isn’t always easy, but I really feel like if there is any way to make it work-it is highly valuable.
I don’t like at home Saturdays
I know this is a weird thing to say, but I find them chaotic and I never seem to get as much done as I thought I should. I have really been trying to work on myself so that I don’t end up grumpy because of it. I have also been realizing, that I often expect too much out of myself and end of feeling down on myself because of it.
How about you? What have you learned or processed through in January?