Do you ever get mad and completely lose it on the ones you love?
Why is it that we often attack the ones we love the most?
Why is it that we often have complete patience with strangers and yet hurt the ones we love so deeply?
This past Sunday, I failed at being loving, gentle, and kind. Normally, my husband and I go to church together. This Sunday, Bernd had a meeting after the service that we knew would probably take more time than the kids would be willing to wait. This meant that I was on my own for getting myself and the kids to church and that I was running behind.
To begin with, I woke up an hour and a half later than my usual wake up time. This wasn’t good. So I preceded to rush and stress about like a chicken with its head chopped off. All that stress would have just been stress, except that I took it out on my family as well. I lost my temper at my girls and later on my husband because somehow it was “their” fault that the morning hadn’t gone well.
One my favorite sayings is by Ben Franklin, “To Fail to Plan, is to Plan to Fail.”
A plan is awesome to follow, but there are times the plan completely fails like on this particular morning. Obviously, I should have planned properly and not procrastinated my Sunday School Lesson, like I did.
I learned this morning that I am still very much a human being with flaws, who doesn’t have it all together. I’d like to take a minute to look at some reasons why we act this way towards our families and how we can begin to change.
Our own agenda
I wanted to be to Church on time and I didn’t care who I hurt in the process. It’s kind of like there was a zombie part in my brain that said “must be on time, must be on time,” and it was like a throbbing pulse that beat before all others. It was all about me, about what I wanted.
Instead of worrying so much having things our way, let’s remember that we have a responsibility, even an obligation for the relationship with our family first before being on time or looking good to others. Our families are precious- let’s treat them as such.
We spend so much time together, that we forget to value one another. We often tend to see our own family as just another “thing” we have to deal with it.
Doesn’t that sound terrible? It’s true, though. As women, there are so many things that we need to deal with each and every day. Sometimes, there are so many interruptions we just can’t seem to focus on one thing for enough time to finish it. When become so task driven, we all too easily forget to cherish the people around us.
You know how when you answer the phone or someone texts you in the middle of a horrible argument with your spouse?
How do you answer them?
You’re probably usually sweet and kind. If someone asks how you are, you more than likely answer good or okay. Let’s show value to our families like that.
I have taught my kids the verse Luke 6:31 (NIV) “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Think about how you would like to be treated, especially in the moments of busyness.
Does that mean we won’t ever mess up? Absolutely not. It does mean that each time we mess up, we can resolve to do better next time.
Some Simple Things I’m Trying to do
1. Take a few minutes and breathe before reacting.
2. Give me a time out instead of the kids.
When we are out in Public, we tend to try to be the best that we can be. We want people to like us. We want to leave the impression that we, at least, kind of have it together. The truth is, we probably don’t want to admit it, but we are all longing to be accepted by everyone else. Sadly, we are often walking around in competition with one another instead of being real.
Does that mean we should yell at everyone we meet? Not at all, but it does mean that we shouldn’t treat complete strangers with more kindness than our own families.
Let’s go back to Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you have them to do to you.”
If we make that our number one focus, instead of what we want or think we need in the moment, we will treat others more kindly. For example, would I like someone to yell at me if I was running late for church? Not at all.
The love chapter is a perfect example of how we should treat each other.
1 Corithinias 13:4-7 (NIV) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. This is impossible to do of our own Strength.
Matthew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” All we need to do is Trust in God.
If we trust him, he will give us everything we need.
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